Where Would I Be Without You

There's nothing like a glass of wine to take on a trip down memory lane...tonight I'm allowing myself one. A fragmented, stream of consciousness, it's been a long strange trip kind of journey that maybe helps me (and you make sense of who the hell I am, or at least who the hell I think I am)

There's this Eric Church song I really like (and bonus if you can name it) that says " I never woulda made it this far on my own. Where would we all be without those, fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers, the friends I’ve made, the long lost lovers? I wouldn’t be who I am today, if not for those I’ve loved along the way along the way." Hint the name of the song is listed in the lyrics.

I digress, I'm three months away from getting married to the man of my dreams...he's normal, and wonderful, and somehow think I'm special...in a good way (and I secretly have a feeling that the people who know us wonder how I was lucky enough to manage to end up with him...but somehow I did). But I'm not the person I was three years ago, or seven years ago, or ten years ago...and the people around me have forever changed me...I'd like to say even for the better ;)

Romantic relationships change us and shape us and I've learned a few things that helped me find Mr. Right...who maybe started out even at Mr. Right Now but ended up as Mr. Right Forever.

1. If you can't be yourself, your clingy, at your worst, I don't get how someone could ever love me self, your not with the right person. The right person sees the crazy, maybe is scared of the crazy, but sticks around because they can't imagine their life without the crazy. I come with a lot of crazy.

2. Just because someone you love or were in love with did something terrible...it doesn't mean they're a bad person...it doesn't mean you should be with them...but it doesn't mean that everything good they have ever done for you and the times they stood with you when no one else did are cancelled out. Remember that they're is a reason you love, loved, or were in love with them...

3. Just because you love, loved, or were in love with the person described in number 3 doesn't mean that you are never going to find someone wonderful, someone different than the person in number 3...but folks, it's probably going to take a while.

4. A clean break is a good thing. Forget the phone calls after break-ups or the "well were still friend's dinner"...now is the time to take care of yourself. It's over, let it be over.

5. People can have more than one soulmate...I promise you they can. Your soulmates change as you change...give yourself permission to recognize this.

6. Don't ever date your friends ex-boyfriends. It doesn't matter if they're your good friend and you think you know them, there are no excuses here. Not only is it shitty to date your friend's ex because it completely disregards there feelings and makes you less of a person, there is a reason your friend isn't with them and they broke up...it most likely will be the demise of your relationship with that person too. One word heartache all around...don't do it.

7. Love will come to you when you least expect it. You're not going to find it when your looking...it's fun to look but it usually falls out of the sky. In my case, something bad has happened and I'm just trying to escape whatever it is.

8. Give people second chances...let me rephrase this, give people second chances who are worth giving second chances too. This requires listening to your heart and not your head and it's dangerous but do it anyway.

9. People make mistakes, you do too, not every bump along the way is equivalent to nuclear fall out. Give him a break (maybe even give him a break when you're not really upset but you think you should be upset about the situation and you have a choice whether to throw a fit or let it go)...I need to remember this one on the days I'm not drinking a glass of wine ;)

10. At the end of the day, there is always the moment when you know that this is the beginning of the end of your relationship...be brave and face that moment with honesty...it'll be better for both of you in the end even though at the beginning of the end it doesn't feel that way.

11. Sometimes when someone is giving you the run around and you know they don't want to be with you anymore it's best to break up with yourself and end the relationship. I did this once...it worked out well for both of us...well it worked out well for me, I don't think I've spoken to him since I broke up with myself for him.

12. Loving someone is about wanting them to be happy, with or without you (sometimes you learn the biggest lessons in high school afterall)

Good night memory lane...I'm sure you'll strike back another night...but for tonight...good night and good luck