If Only I Had The Time

I find myself daily wishing I had time to do the things I want to do. Time seems to be this elusive little devil that slips away quickly when I have a little of it free yet lingers when I'm at work. I keep making jokes that if Matt and I have to do pre-marital counseling we're going to have to it individually because of our schedules...and then I recognized that it wasn't so much of a joke as it was a reality. So I decide to challenge myself and think about all the different things I coulda, shoulda, woulda do if only I had the time.

1. I'd go see the movies I keep saying I want to see...I have a complete list. He's Not That Into You, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Slumdog Millionaire, Milk, Push, Coraline...all at the movie theater all just waiting to be seen.

2. I'd read the American Wife. I bought it in December and I'm ashamed that as an avid reader who really wants to read this novel and loves this author I have failed to do so. Not to mention I'd read Honeymoon in Tehran which I hear is wonderful as well.

3. I'd blog more. I love reading my past posts. It reminds me where I was in my life when I wrote it and who I was...I started blogging almost five years ago...that's a lot of life for a 27 year old. But as my time constraints shackle me, I post less and thus just don't have that personal record I enjoy so much.

4. I'd go to the gym more. Now I know I'm making excuses and I try to go at least twice a week, but when I have limited time my couch seem so much for tempting than the treadmill.

5. I'd live in the moment. I don't do this, ever, I'm always thinking about what I have to do next. Okay, maybe I'm lying to myself because I'm type A and I'm not sure I have the ability to do this...but Lord, I'd like the time to try.

6. I'd use my Netflix account...properly. I've had disc one of the first season of The Wire for a month and another movie since before Christmas...

7. I'd de-clutter my closet. I'm going to have to do this eventually...Matt may want some closet space and I have at least a rack of clothing I no longer wear. It's going to be a project and I need some time to do it in.

8. I'd donate the books I've had in my garage all packed up and ready to go to the library...but I work when the library is open...and I need to make time to donate them.

9. I'd try to stop being tired all the time. I'm always tired and I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired but I don't think there is a twelve step program for this problem.

10. I'd return personal phone calls and e-mails and maybe just make some on my own. I've become horrible about doing the former and really should try to do the later (cause you have to be a friend to have a friend).

What would you do if you only had the time?

I just don't want to look back and regret this month or year or even day because I didn't do anything that made me happy...I don't know maybe it's just time to try something new or do things differently...cause this doesn't seem to be working. I want to believe life is beautiful and I want to be able to cherish my days...but life is turning into my own version of No Exit and I'm not really sure if the rat race is for me anymore. I guess sometimes it's about having the courage to fix your life when you recognize it's broken and I'm not sure I'm there yet.