I think my best quality is the ability to be be resilient. Often I imagine myself in a pink bunny suit hitting a drum over and over again, like the energizer bunny, marching through life. Whatever life throws at me, I just keep marching and hitting that damn drum, whether I'm happy, sad, or ready to break my drum sticks. On days like today, I remember why that quality is so important.
It's sunny and 70 degrees today, I wore flip flops and drove around with the sun roof in my car open. It was wonderful. I had a doctor's appointment so I left work early and had a little time to myself to reflect and remember why life is beautiful...particularly why my life is beautiful.
A little back story. I've been running around for the last couple weeks on empty. I've been working a lot of hours, I was deathly ill last week and last weekend, I miss Matt terribly, and I've been generally unhappy. I just haven't felt balanced at all and my attitude has sucked. I've felt like I can't control anything, life is pushing me around, and catastrophe is looming (and the Nicor bill that came in the mail Friday night that informed me they hadn't read my meter for five months and I owed them $300.00 within two weeks really didn't help much either)
But today I was able to put those feelings away and just enjoy the moment. I was able to push pass my career disappointments and remember I'm not my job, I'm more than my job, and my title and status for eight hours a day is just that...a title and a status that are words but aren't who I am. That the only box I'm in is the one I create for myself and put myself in.
I was able to put aside the feeling that the other shoe is going to drop and put on shoes I like to wear. I was able to figure out how to go around the obstacles or jump over them even when those obstacles seem to fall from the sky.
I was able to be my best self even when just yesterday I was ready to go over the cliff to keep myself from continuing to bang on the drum. I just need to remind myself that I have the ability to change my outlook and perception and it's really amazing what a day can, in fact, do for me.
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Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
3 years ago
2 comments:
I always had Matt pay the gas bill when I lived with him. You should try that.
I know how you feel my dear. My gas bill was $430 in January, $330 last month, and $220 for March. (Yes, that is almost $1,000.00 in gas use over three months. Thanks Chicago).
I've also been working a ton... 10.5 hour days and every Saturday. Work is taking a toll on me too.
Keep your chin up. It's almost summer!
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